Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
The best revenge is premature balding
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
