it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I need to sanitize my soul.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
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