My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
