my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
