His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
