You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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