I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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