Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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