I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
