the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
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