watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
