Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize