I feel like I'm in dance class right now
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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