TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
