Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize