If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Randomize
