she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
