Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
