So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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