Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
