I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
