what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
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