he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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