So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
