It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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