Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Randomize
