I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
