The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
