I think im going to throw up on grandma
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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