She's JV to your varsity
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
