he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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