So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
