Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
