we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
