So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
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