How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
