no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize
