you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize