Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
