It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
