And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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