Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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