Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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