pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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