..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
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