I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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