So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
