i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
