I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
