So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Randomize
