he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
