just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize