u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
