So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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