some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
