): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Randomize
