DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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