his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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