no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Randomize
