lets start a swedish sibling band together
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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