mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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