Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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