He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
